Fear and Your Birth 😰 – Pearl of Love

Dear Expectant Parents,

As you get closer to your labor and birth, there can be a lot of fear that comes along with the excitement and joy of bringing your little one into this world. Let’s dive into the topic of fear and the effect it can have on your birth.

Take a moment to think about your fears…what comes to mind? What makes you anxious, uncertain, or scared when you think about your birth?

Here are some common fears that couples have concerning birth:

Being overcome with pain
Having a C-Section

Vaginal Tearing
Death of mom or baby

Long and Tiring labor
Complications in labor/birth

Holding on to fears like these can actually physically effect your labor and birth. As we discover what that means for you and how you can overcome those fears, keep in mind that the LORD says:

“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you.
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

Fear-Tension-Pain Cycle

In the 1920s, Obstetrician Dr Grantley Dick-Read described what has become known as the Fear-Tension-Pain Cycle in Labor and Birth:

Fear

This cycle begins with fear. The definition of fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” Any type of fear, anxiety, uncertainty, stress, or unsafe feelings triggers your Flight or Fight system, otherwise known as your Sympathetic Nervous System.

Tension

The Flight or Fight System does many things to help you run away from or fight back against your perceived threat. Including:

Blood flow increases to your extremities
Increased heart rate and heavy breathing
Tension in your muscles: giving you the ability to run away or fight back
Your pelvic floor muscles (those that help release and move baby into position) tighten up
Decreased oxygen to your uterus
Your body is flooded with adrenaline

Pain

With decreased oxygen to the uterus, your body has to work harder to produce contractions.

The tension in your body doesn’t allow your pelvic floor muscles to release, a vital part of allowing baby to be born.

During labor your body releases Oxytocin (a hormone that helps cause uterine contractions and cervical dilation, and acts as a natural pain killer) and Endorphins (more of our body’s natural pain killers). Adrenaline (released during Fight or Flight) inhibits oxytocin and endorphins, causing you to feel an increase in pain. Because of this, your uncomfort and pain increases and your fears may feel validated.

Thus, the Cycle continues…

In the moment of your labor, it will feel hard to escape the trap of the Fear-Tension-Pain Cycle. So, what can you do now, to prepare yourself and combat Fear in your labor?

Empower-Release-Love Cycle

Empower

First, ask yourself- “What am I afraid or anxious about?” Write out your fears, in detail. Then, educate yourself on that fear, and what accompanies it. Ask your OB/GYN, Midwife, or Doula about that fear. Next, prepare for your birth in practical ways. Write out some steps to help prepare your body and mind for that fear. Understand and research what it might be if that fear actually came to pass, and be reconciled with that feeling. Finally, talk it over with someone you love, God, your husband, or even your Doula. Know your enemy (your fears) and know your weapons against it. Education is empowering!

Click here for an example.

Fear = Vaginal Tearing – afraid of the pain and afraid of vagina being “messed up” or “ugly”

Educate = Vaginal tearing is tearing of the perineum – the skin between the vaginal opening and the anus. This often happens when the baby is birthed/forced out before the perineum was given time to stretch to its fullest potential. Tearing is more likely when mother is birthing with an epidural and directed pushing (where mother is instructed to hold her breath and bear down). There are 4 degrees of tearing, ranging from minor (needing minor stitches) to serious (repair and antibiotics). Vaginal tears often heal within a few weeks (for minor tears) to up to 6 weeks (for more serious tears).

Prepare = There are ways to prepare and prevent vaginal tearing. A perineal massage can be done to help stretch and loosen the perineum, often this is done in the weeks leading up to labor. Keeping a warm compress on the perineum during labor can help loosen the tissue and muscles. Using spontaneous pushing can help prevent tearing – this is when mother pushes when she has the involuntary urge to push, she is encourage to breath through it gently and slowly.

Reconcile = If this fear came to pass, you might get a few stitches and a tear that will take a few weeks to heal. You might have some pain urinating or passing bowels. You will need time to recover and heal.

Release

Being empowered can release a lot of fear that surround your birth, however when the contractions hit hard, pain is coming quickly, or complications rise up during your labor, you may find yourself sliding into the cycle of Fear-Tension-Pain.

Our next step is release. During your labor, focus on letting go and trust the process of birth. Listen to your maternal instincts, relax, and breath.

There are many comfort measures that release tension and pain. Your Doula will discuss and practice these tools with you.

Love

To combat pain, surround yourself with LOVE. Talk to your Doula about who you want in your birth space, surround yourself with positive and affirming people who will calm your fears and love you through your pain. Create a positive and relaxing birth environment, that eliminates discomfort and fear.

I hope that this post was able to give you the tools you need to combat fear in your labor. Remember… Empower-Release-Love!

“Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remember the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world.” – John 16:21

Love,

Pearl

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